This wasn’t supposed to happen

 

The page you tried to get to doesn’t exist! It’s ok, whatever you do, DON’T PANIC!

I’ll help you get out of this mostly alive:

  1. Look around you. Are you in imminent danger? If so, proceed to step 2. If not, proceed to step 3.

  2. GET OUT OF THERE!

  3. Now that those who are in danger have left their computers and are safe, you may take a deep breath. In for 5 seconds, out for 5 seconds. Proceed to step 4.

  4. Look at the top navigation. Click on one of those links, or proceed to step 5.

  5. Did you come to my portfolio site by accident? Not sure how that happens, but if it was purely a mistake, you may close this window or proceed to step 6.

  6. You’re a curious one, aren’t you? Wondering where this rabbit hole leads? Sure, there are more steps after this one; however, I cannot promise that it will be worth your time. You could go back to step 4 or proceed to step 7.

  7. Ah yes, lucky number 7……..WRONG! You’ve gone off the deep end and there is no going back. I don’t think you realize where this is all headed. This is your last chance to go back to step 3 or proceed to step 9.

  8. I didn’t tell you to proceed to step 8. You shouldn’t be reading this! Now you must be punished. Proceed to step 13.

  9. Congratulations on passing your first test! I assume you didn’t read step 8 - DON’T DO IT. I know you are tempted. Be. Strong. Proceed to step 10.

  10. You’ve done well my 404 page apprentice, but these next steps will test your resolve and strength of character. Before going back to step 8, I need you to finish reading the next sentence. Don’t go back to step 8! That was a trick; instead, proceed to step 11.

  11. I can see that I have underestimated you. Very few people have made it this far; in fact, you may be the only one. This is your final test. Answer this question correctly and you may proceed to step 12. WHAT is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

  12. I, I don't know that! (Mark gets pulled to the sky and thrown down the Gorge of Eternal Peril) Proceed to step 13.

  13. You win! or lose - depending on how you arrived at this step. I hope you enjoyed this page, and that it brought you some joy. Choose one of the following links: Graphic Design • Illustration • Video • About